Mengenai Saya
Sabtu, 13 Ogos 2011
NOPE (new name)
huhh....its beeen a while since i've done some sketches, here's my new sketch for my new name....
Isnin, 16 Mei 2011
Isnin, 18 April 2011
Jumaat, 15 April 2011
Jokes
Bush and Saddam Meeting
Bush and Saddam sit down in a private meeting in Baghdad. Both sit in separate arm chairs.
Whilst talking, Saddam pushes a button and a glove comes out and hits bush square on the jaw. He starts laughing hysterically but bush lets it slide.
20 minutes later, Saddam pushes another button and a mechanical foot comes out and gives bush a belter on the shins. Again hysterical laughter but bush wants diplom*oil*acy so he ignores it.
Another 20 minutes and Saddam pushes a third button on the armchair and bush gets hit in the gut by the fist and in the groin by the foot. Saddam is crying with laughter and bush finally gets up and leaves saying to Saddam let our next meeting be in Washington.
*next meeting*
Saddam comes into the white house and sees two arm chairs, the one bush is sitting in has three buttons on one of the arms.
In the discussion bush presses each of the buttons and each time Saddam craps himself whilst bush laughs uncontrollably. Nothing happens to Saddam each time
Saddam leaps up and cries "that's it! I'm going back to Baghdad" after the third time, Bush just sits back and laughs
"WHAT BAGHDAD????"
The Asylum
A guy has a flat tire on the road by a fence of an asylum for mentally ill patients. While changing the tire he manages to lose the lug nuts and can't secure the spare tire to the car. An inmate standing by the fence is watching and says "Take one nut off the other three tires until you can replace the ones you lost." The motorist is dumbfounded and says "how did you come up with that? That's a really good idea." The patient says "I'm mentally ill, not stupid."
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No," said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a room with or without a view?"
Pig Thief
In Duluth, Minnesota, a man named Jack Pettit was arrested on a charge that he stole a neighbour's pig. His attorney maintained that he was innocent and filed that the case be dismissed through lack of evidence. The judge agreed and the case was dismissed. Jack Pettit then thanked the judge and asked, "But do I have to give back the pig?"
Ralph and Edna
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Ralph out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he is dead."
Edna replied "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"
The Greedy Trader
A successful trader parked his brand new Porsche in front of the office ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out a lorry came along too close to the kerb and completely tore off the driver's side. The trader immediately grabbed his mobile and dialled 999. It wasn't more than 5 minutes before a policeman pulled up. Before the policeman had a chance to ask any questions, the trader started screaming how his car, which he just picked up that day, was completely ruined and would never be the same again. After the trader finally finished his rant, the policeman shook his head in disbelief.
"I can't believe how materialistic you traders are," he said "You're so focused on your possessions you don't notice anything else" "How can you say that?" asked the trader.
The policeman replied, "Didn't you realise that your left arm is missing from your elbow down? It's been torn off from when the truck hit you" The trader looked down in absolute horror.
"Fucking Hell!" he screamed… "Where's my rolex?"
Bush and Saddam sit down in a private meeting in Baghdad. Both sit in separate arm chairs.
Whilst talking, Saddam pushes a button and a glove comes out and hits bush square on the jaw. He starts laughing hysterically but bush lets it slide.
20 minutes later, Saddam pushes another button and a mechanical foot comes out and gives bush a belter on the shins. Again hysterical laughter but bush wants diplom*oil*acy so he ignores it.
Another 20 minutes and Saddam pushes a third button on the armchair and bush gets hit in the gut by the fist and in the groin by the foot. Saddam is crying with laughter and bush finally gets up and leaves saying to Saddam let our next meeting be in Washington.
*next meeting*
Saddam comes into the white house and sees two arm chairs, the one bush is sitting in has three buttons on one of the arms.
In the discussion bush presses each of the buttons and each time Saddam craps himself whilst bush laughs uncontrollably. Nothing happens to Saddam each time
Saddam leaps up and cries "that's it! I'm going back to Baghdad" after the third time, Bush just sits back and laughs
"WHAT BAGHDAD????"
The Asylum
A guy has a flat tire on the road by a fence of an asylum for mentally ill patients. While changing the tire he manages to lose the lug nuts and can't secure the spare tire to the car. An inmate standing by the fence is watching and says "Take one nut off the other three tires until you can replace the ones you lost." The motorist is dumbfounded and says "how did you come up with that? That's a really good idea." The patient says "I'm mentally ill, not stupid."
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No," said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a room with or without a view?"
Pig Thief
In Duluth, Minnesota, a man named Jack Pettit was arrested on a charge that he stole a neighbour's pig. His attorney maintained that he was innocent and filed that the case be dismissed through lack of evidence. The judge agreed and the case was dismissed. Jack Pettit then thanked the judge and asked, "But do I have to give back the pig?"
Ralph and Edna
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Ralph out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he is dead."
Edna replied "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"
The Greedy Trader
A successful trader parked his brand new Porsche in front of the office ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out a lorry came along too close to the kerb and completely tore off the driver's side. The trader immediately grabbed his mobile and dialled 999. It wasn't more than 5 minutes before a policeman pulled up. Before the policeman had a chance to ask any questions, the trader started screaming how his car, which he just picked up that day, was completely ruined and would never be the same again. After the trader finally finished his rant, the policeman shook his head in disbelief.
"I can't believe how materialistic you traders are," he said "You're so focused on your possessions you don't notice anything else" "How can you say that?" asked the trader.
The policeman replied, "Didn't you realise that your left arm is missing from your elbow down? It's been torn off from when the truck hit you" The trader looked down in absolute horror.
"Fucking Hell!" he screamed… "Where's my rolex?"
Khamis, 14 April 2011
Khamis, 7 April 2011
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